Maya

Buddha by Deepak Chopra is a powerful book. I finished reading it a few days back, but I am still carrying it in my subconscious. The book revolves around the life of Buddha and touches repeatedly upon “Maya” the central theme in most eastern philosophies. So my mind has been freely wandering again in the enthralling web of Maya. Maya is an intriguing concept, which is quite difficult to define. Yet it (or she or he) touches upon some of the most basic concepts of universe and humanity. I am a true agnostic and I only believe in things that can be proven by rigorous scientific data. Yet there are some questions that are so confounding that they almost shatter my beliefs to the core. If the whole universe was created in an instant with a “Big Bang” what was before that? Is there really a time and space continuum in which everything that is going to happen tomorrow has happened already in a different time dimension? And the most interesting question is, if the whole universe is moving towards disorder then why have LIFE, which the most ordered state of matter.

All these questions churn up my mind into an uncontrollable storm and that’s when I lean on Maya for support. Maya in literary term means “the ultimate illusion” and suggests that this material world is just an illusion and that our greater purpose in life is to try to find the truth of our existence. Every soul is born and (according to some philosophies) reborn to pursue this quest of truth and as we embark upon this journey, all our perceptions of the material existence of good and of evil collapse one by one until our soul meets the ultimate truth, becomes part of this ultimate truth to attain enlightenment (Nirvana). A few special souls like the Buddha, Jesus Mahavira and other modern day messiahs have reached this destination while most others are struggling to escape the intricate web of Maya.

I have spent hours talking passionately to my friends about Maya. Yet when I reflect back on my thoughts I see a hypocrite, because I am more tied in to the material world than most people. For example, a little while after we had crazy debate about Maya, a friend nonchalantly asked me “So are you going to buy an iphone? And without even thinking my response was “Yes of course”. I immediately knew that my Maya had lost the debate. I like to sample the pleasures of life whenever I can afford them. I have no guilt in enjoying few hours of euphoria that I get from a glass or two of wine. My idea of playing sport is buying the kit and then quitting and finding a new sport after a week. (So email me if you want a set of golf clubs that have been used only once!!!) I am an epitome of material existence and I can never see myself sitting under a banyan tree trying to find out the true meaning of life.

Yet I have learned a lot from Buddha’s struggle towards enlightenment. I have learnt that just thinking about Maya and the true meaning of life takes you away (even if just for a few moments) from your day-to-day existence. Just today when I was faced with an unfavorable situation at work instead of reacting to it immediately (and probably making it worse) I let my mind drift into the mist of Maya and when I got back that unfavorable moment had passed away. It was almost as if I had transcended time and traveled to the future. Taking that time out I was able to remind myself that there are things in life that are lot bigger than the rat race we are all trying to win. Sometimes disengaging our mind helps us get a better perspective about the mundane things we worry about. Thinking about Maya is like a short vacation that our mind needs every day.

So cheers friends and keep those discussions going. But, remember after all is said and done, its all just Maya!!!!!!!

The Four Walls

So here I am sitting in a bar in San Diego, having dinner alone. Ultimate fighting championship (UFC) is playing on the only big screen TV that adorns this place. This is only the second or maybe the third time in my life that I am eating dinner all by myself in a public place. So to hide my loneliness I brought my laptop and a book that I have just started reading called Buddha by Deepak Chopra The violence on TV and the dim lighting has filled this place with such darkness that it is difficult for me to read Buddha. Hence, I am going to use the little light that my laptop screen is reflecting to reflect upon the part of the book that I have read so far.
Buddha is a story of Siddhartha a divine child who was born in a royal family of king Suddhodana and his queen Maya. It was prophesied that that Siddhartha would become the greatest ruler ever and rule the four corners of this world. However, if Siddhartha every got exposed to grief sorrow and suffering he would become ruler of his soul and become a great sage an ascetic who would be totally disconnected from the material world. After hearing this, Suddhodana with the help of his advisor Cankhi, devised a plan to shield Siddhartha from any sorrow or grief. So anyone who was sick crippled or old was driven out of the kingdom and four big walls were constructed around the palace to screen Siddhartha from the outside world. Siddhartha would be confined inside the four walls for the early part of his life. Suddhodana thought that shielding Siddharth from pain and suffering of the real world would lead him to his real destiny as the ruler of this world
Suddhodanas plan bore some early success as young 18 year old Siddharth was crowned the future king, and that’s the book so far. I have been wondering though if just like Siddhartha we all have the four walls around us. Walls formed by expectations of our parents, elders, loved ones, teachers and the society that we live in. Our parents and elders are trying to live their unfulfilled dreams through us. Our teachers see us as yet another branch of their legacy. Our loved ones want to make us their possession and the society wants to stamp its authority all over our existence. Many decisions that we take are made within the confines of these walls. We are asked to become doctors or engineers anything less would be the end o the world. We are told to marry within our caste, sect, religion and color or be prepared to face the wrath of the society or of god himself. Success is defined by the amount of money we make or by the car we drive or by the neighborhood we live in. It makes me wonder if we are running towards a goal that’s not really our own or living somebody else’s dream and calling it our own.
Have you ever wondered where your life would be if without these four walls? I have and the answer scares me.

My Blog Express Starts Here......

So here I am after some mulling and self coaxing, climbing on the blog-express. Interestingly, when I told a friend about this aspiration the first reaction was "Great!!!! but who is going to read your blogs?" and my answer was "Does it really matter?". Now after thinking about it more, I am not sure if it does matters or not? First however, I will try to answer an easier question. Why write a blog at all? The answer lies in one of our most basic desires, a trait that sets us apart from other living beings, which is our need to express ourself. We Humans are programmed to express and blogging is yet another way through which we announce ourselves to the world. Which is why the caveman in France's Grotte Chauvet who lived during the ice age 30,000 years back was painting pictures on the walls of his cave. Life must have been quite a struggle for this ice age man as he was fighting against hunger, wild beasts, weather and elements and simple things like a decaying tooth could have been life threatening for him. Yet as he struggled for day-to-day survival our ice age ancestor was creating cave paintings so refined that they have shattered our myths about a more modern origin of artistic sophistication (Science, 20 November 1998, p. 1451). No one knows the reason behind these paintings, could they have been a part of an ancient ritual or an ancient burial? Or some form of ancient communication or education system? Or were our ancestors just expressing themselves? Just satisfying the urge to express their creative instincts by painting their version of the world around them. The more intriguing question is, did this cave man crave for an immediate audience when he was making this painting or did he know that the painting would be his legacy long after he was gone?

One can argue that drawing and painting were forms of communication. Maybe the cave paintings were meant for warning the young ones about the friendly and not so friendly animals , which would have been critical for their survival in a savage world. But I cant even begin to comprehend music. The most extreme case of our creative imagination and expression. Music which is intricately abstract and yet so close to our soul. Really how did music evolve ? It certainly cannot be essential for our existence (although many would argue otherwise) and yet it engulfs our existences. The origins of music are even more ancient than the cave paintings. The first flute uncovered in a Neanderthal* excavation site dates back to 43,000 BC . Amazingly the holes in this neanderthal flute, made with a bear bones, are perfectly aligned to make diatonic sounds http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/specials/washington_2000/649296.stm (or check this for a more recent flute http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2004/dec/17/highereducation.arts). Were are ancestors just mimicking natures sounds or was music some form of war cry or means to attract prey. Darwin "The God" (of my religion) had suggested that origin of music was largely an outcome of courtship displays (http://www.edge.org/3rd_culture/miller/miller_p4.html ). I cant fully agree with him on this one (Even I am shocked I made this statement, but I know "The God" will not send me to hell for this digression). Its hard for me to believe that the sole purpose of music was to attract a mate and if it was, how could it have evolved into Britney Spears singing Oops I did it again, Oops wrong example, I actually meant Symphony No. 40 by Mozart. Maybe music is a our attempt to tune into the primal sound of creation. Sage Vishvamitra from Hindu mythology is thought to have heard this vibration during one of his trance, which he tried to capture in the vowel Om (Om is thought to be the root of Amen, Ameen and Shalom http://www.healingsounds.com/articles/planetaryHS.asp ) . But I find it hard to believe that the driver of rickshaw humming the tune of his favorite bollywood song as he listens to it on his radio, is thinking of the ultimate resonance of this universe. The reason why music is so close to our heart is because it mingles with our emotions. Joy, sorrow, jealousy, bereavement, love, lust, pain, pleasure and attraction are like the octaves of our music, which when played together, form the very fabric of our life. We connect our music with our emotions. We let music carry us back in time to the "good old days". We use music to soothe us, almost like a companion, when our mind is filled with sorrow. We use music to create an ambiance, a mood, a state of mind. As the story goes, when Tansen sang raga megha malahar it would rain in Akbars court. And as Darwin suggested we use music for courtship, as we play our favorite love duet, affectionately, for that special someone.

But, its not just our music or our art, but everything we do has a touch of our individuality and expression. The colors we choose for our house, the car we drive, the ringer on our cell phone and the clothes we wear (and sometimes chose not to wear), shout and announce our presence to the word. Just like foot prints in sand, wherever we go whatever we do, we leave our imprints behind us. Like soap bubbles floating in air, our emotions transcend space and sometimes time, as they are expressed as music, poetry, dance, a smile, a tear or a blog. Being a social creature we make a conscious effort to "fit in" with our group, our community, our religion or our country. We let our actions express our allegiance to the world around us. We worship and imprison our god in the faith of religion around us. We sing our national anthem in chorus, at our school assembly, as we claim ownership to the land that our ancestors fought for. We cheer as bunch of men chase a football on a cold Sunday afternoon just because the rest of the world is also watching. We hang lanterns and decorate our homes for Diwali, Christmas, Hanukkah or Eid, so that our house does not stick out as a sore eye. We express our allegiance to the culture around us and want the world to know it. When the leaders, the rulers express their power, they want the world to know it. Taj Mahal the epitome of love, Pyramids the reflection of immortality and the Eiffel tower the essence of architecture all demand our attention, our awe, adulation and our submission to their supremacy. Most times we express ourself to seek attention and admiration, we want the world to notice us to know that we belong here. So many times when we express ourself we seek an audience an applause or an acknowledgment. Yet there are times when we shed tears to wash out our sorrow in solitude. Or laugh out alone when no one is listening. I certainly don't want an audience when I am ripping my rendition of fields of gold in shower. Subconsciously we are programmed to express our emotions even when no one in watching.

Is this desire to express our selfrooted in our need to leave a mark on this planet that we visit only fleetingly? Are we subconsciously trying to prolong our battle against time leaving behind our creations lingering, as time wipes out every evidence of our existence? More question than answers, but what about this blog. Does it matter if anyone reads it? To answer that question let me first share a habit with you. Every morning I walk into a Starbucks coffee shop as if, to express my allegiance to the metro-sexual culture around me. I look down upon Dunkin doughnuts and Tullys because they are just posers or because their coffee sucks or because they don't donate 2 % of their profits to poor kids in Sudan. Yet my drink, a tall sugar free hazelnut cappuccino extra dry that I have been drinking for the last 8 years is distinctly my own. The baristas at Starbucks know me not by my name but as a guy who drinks a "tall sugar free hazelnut cappuccino extra dry". That cup of cappuccino has a flavor of my choice my trade mark, my expression. Sometimes when I go to Starbucks with my friends, I order my cappuccino for them, many times they add their own touch by asking for fat free milk or a wetter cappuccino, and its okay because they are taking my choice and making it their own. None the less in that one cup they are able to experience a taste that is a part of my daily existence. This blog is like that cup of coffee, by writing it I am climbing onto the blogging bandwagon and yet this blog represents my thoughts, a space in my mind that I explored briefly and then expressed it in words. So even as I am tempted to say that it doesn't matter if anyone reads this blog and that this is just an outlet for me to organize my random thoughts. I will say that, I always meant for someone to read this. And if you have reached so far, I at least have have one audience. Thank you for visiting a small piece of my mind, I hope you found it just like yours.

Himanshu

* Neanderthal was our enigmatic alter ego, a Homosapien that some believe we modern humans (cromagnum) drove to extinction. Others believe that the neanderthals melted into the modern humans through cross breeding. I have always preferred love over war so I lean more towards the second hypothesis (I do flinch however, when I look at whats happening around us today)